Getting Teens to Do Their Homework

One worry that is shared by many, many parents of teenagers (or any children for that matter) is about school and grades. Parents rightfully worry about how their child's academic performance will impact their future in terms of college opportunities or future job success. Homework is a big source of stress in the relationships of teens and their parents and can cause nightly conflicts in some households. Parents expect that homework will be done and taken seriously while many teenagers would prefer to play on the computer, text their friends, watch TV or talk on the phone instead of doing their homework. Below are some tips for parents to help increase the likelihood that your teenager will get their homework done without a nightly battle with you.

1. Set your expectations about homework clearly. Let your teenager know that they are expected to do their homework nightly and be clear that you know that they have homework assigned and that you are not going to accept them telling you that they never get homework (many teens try to tell their parents that they don't regularly get homework, however, at the high school level, homework is assigned consistently so don't let them fool you into thinking otherwise!). You can always call the school to check on homework assigned and some schools also now have an online system where you can check what teachers are assigning for homework or what is overdue.

2. Be involved. Show an interest in what your teen is doing in school. Check what they are working on and offer help if needed. One thing that I have heard from some parents is that they don't offer help because they don't know the subject matter and don't want their teenagers to know that they are not familiar with the material. This is okay -as the parent of a teenager you have been out of school for a while and it is normal that you will not know or remember everything your teenager is learning. What is important is that you show an interest and encourage them in their learning.

3. Have clear and consistent consequences if your teenager is not getting their homework done. As a parent, you probably have more leverage than you think to help motivate your teenager to do their homework. Think about what their distractions are or what they will work for. Generally, limiting cell phone and computer access until homework is done or grades improve is enough of a motivation for most teens! Figure out what will work for your teenager, set the clear expectation and make sure they know the consequence and then...make sure you follow through!

4. Praise your teenager. Really tune into their academic accomplishments and successes. Praise them for getting their work done, let them know you appreciate how hard they are working and validate that it is not always fun or easy. These genuine words can go a very long way with teenagers (even if they will not always let you see how much they appreciate it!)