Adopting Your Spouse's Children

For many of us, family is the most important thing in our lives. It is what binds us together; it is where we go for comfort, warmth, understanding, and love. Families can come in a wide variety of shapes, sizes, colors, sexes, and ages. Many people believe that family is more of a state of mind, or an emotion, than a genetic or blood relationship.

According to statistics, 46% of marriages in 2008 involved a remarriage for at least one of the partners. That means that nearly half of all marriages in some way involve divorce. Many of these divorced people come into their new marriage with children from their previous marriage. In certain cases, it may feel right for a spouse to complete his or her family by adopting his or her spouse's children. The following guide may help simplify the process for you.

Eligibility

Stepparent adoption, as this process is called, is actually the most popular form of adoption in the United States. However, it is important to realize that after a stepparent has adopted a child, the noncustodial parent (that is, the parent who does not live with the child) loses any rights and responsibility he or she had for the child.

Unsurprisingly, the process is much simpler when the child's other parent is deceased. If this is the case, there are relatively few impediments to the adoption.

If the child's other parent is alive and still has legal responsibility for the child, he or she will have to consent to the adoption. This is often the most difficult part of adopting a stepchild, as many parents do not want to give up the rights associated with parenthood. Other parents, though, may be swayed by the fact that, if their child is adopted, they no longer have the responsibility of paying child support.

Legality

The legality of stepparent adoption varies from state to state, with most jurisdictions making the process slightly easier for stepparents. Some states do not require a home inspection under these circumstances, although many still do require a background check. It may be beneficial to familiarize yourself with the laws in your state.

Additional Concerns

Adopting can be a complicated and deeply personal process, and many prospective parents are left with many unanswered questions.

Homework Involvement For Parents Beyond the Home

Parents' involvement in their children's homework is often viewed as limited only to guiding them on how to do it or in ensuring that children are doing it when they come home. To be more proactive about it, parents should also be in regular communication with their children's teachers. It doesn't necessarily have to be done everyday. A regular day for meeting with the teachers on a weekly basis will suffice.

The first thing that parents may want to discuss with teachers regarding homework is the amount of homework that the children are doing. If they are very much involved in their children's homework, they can be in the position to judge if the amount of homework is too much or too little. As a general rule, homework should be not more than thirty minutes for schoolchildren in third grade and below, and not more than an hour for students in the fourth grade to middle school. If there's too much, parents can suggest to teachers if it is possible to adjust the load.

Too much homework is one of the causes of child stress. It will also prevent children from taking part in outdoor and leisure activities that are equally important to their education and development. Of course, when it becomes too much for children, they will learn to hate it and give them more reason not to do it at all.

There are instances when children forget to write down homework or intentionally don't. During their weekly updates, parents should also ask if their children have completed the homework for the week. If the teachers reveal that some homework have not been submitted yet, parents can follow this up with their children. If the weekly meeting for parents is on a Friday, parents can impose that weekend activities won't start until homework for the week has been completed.

Homework and Its Benefits to Family Life

The classic scenario that most parents will imagine when they think of homework is that it often involves arguments on how to do it, when to do it, and if should be done at all. This is often the case because this has been what they did when they were still students themselves.

For many people, homework is the battlefield between parents and children waging war over who has control of time, privileges, and the right to use certain electronic appliances. This can be changed by having a positive view on homework, which should start with the parents.

Homework is actually a good venue to improve family communication. When parents become involved in their homework that kids bring from school, they are given a chance to communicate with their kids on what is happening to their lives.

A lot can be learned by parents when they sit beside their kids as they do their homework. Children are notoriously secretive about their lives especially as they grow older. When parents regularly help with homework, they can learn what is going on in their child's life even without having to ask outright.

School is a big part of a child's life both socially and academically. As they pore together on the day's assignments, parents can ask their child what's going on in school, what subject are they having difficulties in, which of their classmates are their friends, and so on.

If parents show that they are available and receptive during homework sessions, children will naturally find it easy to open up. Both sides will be able to discuss the things that have been going on in each other's lives and what are the issues that are bothering them, if there's any. Communication is important is any relationship. By making homework a venue wherein it is practiced, parents and children alike work on having an open and honest relationship.

How to Help Your Child on His Reading Homework

Parents who have instilled in their children the love for reading before they have even gone to school will find it reading homework easier. Even without this early advantage, there are still ways to make reading homework a breeze.

First is to have a bedtime routine. For younger children, reading to them before bedtime whether there is a reading homework or not should be a nightly routine. When a reading homework is assigned, the parent can incorporate it as part of the bedtime routine.

Both the parent and child will read from the book. It can be made fun by taking turns on reading the lines, the parent reading the part of the narrator and the child reading the part of the characters, or vice versa.

Reading should not be rushed. It should be done at a pace that the child is comfortable in. If he makes a mistake in pronouncing words, the parent should gently urge him to go back and read the word again. Then, have the child read the sentence from the beginning so that he will remember the corrected pronunciation.

Make the child involved in what is happening in the story. Ask him to describe the story's events in his own words. Then, ask what he thinks will happen next. This will improve his reading comprehension skills as he learns to dissect what he is reading.

Towards the end of the story, ask the child how he thinks it will end. At the end of the story, also ask questions as to why the child thinks a character is acting in a certain way, or what he thinks should have happened instead. Through these questions, the parent will get to check if they child has understood what he is reading, as well as gaining insight into how his child processes things.

Proper Child Development

Small daycare facilities often have a need for activities that children of different age groups can enjoy together. If you are a parent, you may have this need as well. While it may seem difficult to find activities that everyone will enjoy, it is far from impossible.

As parents prepare for summer vacation, they may be anxious about planning activities that will be enjoyable for everyone. The guide below may help you to develop some fun activities that will include all ages.

Kids of all ages can develop their own masterpieces with craft projects. The smaller kids may need more guidance than the older kids, but you'll still want to keep instructions as a general starting point and let each child see what they can come up with.

Kids love to use their imagination. Try not to stifle this with too many parameters. Just help them get started and let them develop their own results that they can take pride in.

You'll want to also incorporate some simpler activities that require no supplies. Hide and seek is a fun game that will also keep them physically active. It requires no real advance preparation and most kids will already know how to play.

Still think your older kids will not want to play the same games as the little kids? Let the older kids help you with the planning and facilitation. This will really engage them and will build life skills at the same time.

Are leaders born or made? This is an age-old question. Regardless of your views on the question from an academic standpoint, many parents have successfully initiated leadership skills in their children by letting them take charge on fun family activities.

Children will also need time spent with friends of their own age and playing alone as well. Help your children develop well-rounded coping skills by alternating family activities with age-specific ones.

Tips on Disciplining Your Child

If you have children, you have often wondered from time to time if your disciplinary techniques are appropriate. With so many techniques in books and on popular talk shows, there is a lot of pressure for parents to adopt a new technique. But don't you know your children better than anyone else?

I believe that all children are different and may require different methods of discipline. The advice of experts is always useful, but must be combined with your own first-hand knowledge of your child.

It's important not to try to force a method of discipline that is just not working on your unique child. Time outs work well for some children but not for all children.

A close friend of mine was struggling with a child who bites. She tried method after method, and just ended up with a confused and frustrated biter. Taking the time to understand her child and what would work best for him would have been more effective.

Children must learn about rules and consequences. To fail to discipline a child at all for breaking the rules is really doing a disservice to him or her.

Remember that discipline should never actually harm a child. A child who is properly disciplined will learn life lessons. I child who is harmed through discipline will not.

Children will learn best from discipline if it correlates to the act committed. For example, drawing on a wall should result in the child cleaning the wall. Don't entirely let the little ones off the hook - this can be tempting as it will take a lot of patience to wait for them to clean the wall and you will most likely need to help them at some point. But the lesson will still be a good one.

Your child will respond best to discipline if you take the time to identify what works best for him or her.

Child's Play - The Teddy Bears Picnic - Ideas For Creative Play

Creative play is such an important part of child development. It is important for children to participate in pretend play or make-believe activities. This develops abstract thinking, negotiating skills, communication skills and a wide variety of necessary skills your child will need in later years. It is also a way for children to problem solve and practice social situations so they are comfortable when faced with the "real" challenges.

One favorite creative play activity I used to do when my children were little was the Teddy Bear Picnic. What child does not love a picnic? They see this as a special treat to have their meal in a different setting than usual. I used to spread a blanket in the middle of the living room floor. This was special to them because meals in my house were always at the dinner table.

One day per week, I would make sure I made finger foods for lunch that would lend well to the picnic theme. I had a little picnic basket just for this activity but that isn't really necessary if you are having your picnic indoors. This is how I used to do it:

• Have your little ones help with planning the picnic meal. Little sandwiches cut into fingers or shapes are usually a big hit for picnic day. Fruit cut into bite sized pieces and maybe a cookie or two. It doesn't have to be elaborate, just anything that lends well to eating while sitting on a blanket.


• While you are preparing the meal, start the pretend process. Ask them where they would like to pretend to have their picnic today. You can pretend to be in the forest, at the park, or anywhere they can imagine.


• Once the meal is prepared, set it aside and have your little ones help create the scene. Spread a blanket out on the floor and get them to imagine the scenery. For example, you might place a stool to the side of the blanket and tell them to pretend that is a tree. Ask them, What else do we need in the forest? You will be surprised and how creative they can get.



• Now get a little chair for each of you and line them up. Sit on the chair and you can pretend you are driving to the picnic or pretend the chairs are bicycles and pedal your way there.(great physical activity too) Or it could be a boat and you row your way there.


• Now you want to invite people or critters or super heros to your picnic. Tell them to go to their toybox and find a friend to invite to their picnic.


• When they bring their imaginary friend to the picnic, ask them to introduce their friend to you and tell you a little about the friend. This will get some wild stories going.


• Now sit on the blanket and enjoy your picnic meal while pretending to observe the scenery.


• When you are finished your meal, pack everything up, tell your children to take their friends back home(to the toy box). Jump back on your bicycles, row boat or car and go back home.

Teddy Bear Picnic day was always the favorite day of the week for my children. It was a great deal of fun for me too to hear all of the stories they would come up with during our creative play time. Every week was a new adventure. My children learned how to plan events, take turns and negotiate on where the adventure would be held all through the fun of creative play.

Active Play - What Parents Can Do

Physical activity begins in infancy. Participating in active and creative play is essential to the overall development of children. Even before kids start learning reading, writing, and arithmetic they learn through play.... all kinds of play. Muscle control, coordination, and strength improve as children participate in their daily environment. Judging distance as they kick the soccer ball, figuring out the speed needed to balance on a bike or even the science of power in achieving their physical goals are all part of helping girls and boys experience success.

Most play, whether indoors or outside, involve other children. By working with one or more kids, your child can learn important social skills and rules: how to compromise and resolve conflict, how to make-believe/role play, how to work as a team or partner, how to be assertive and even how to play with various personalities. When children are efficient at these skills it truly helps grow self confidence and ultimately self-esteem.

As parents or caregivers you are constantly faced with decisions about how to influence your child's development. What toys to buy, how much TV, computer and video games to allow, what activities are the best for learning. Consider the following when you are creating an active environment for kids:

Promote respectful play - choose activities that promote working together, finding solutions. Competition is important to teach about winning and losing but make sure to integrate activities that support cooperation as well.


Promote physical, outdoor play

Choose toys that promote creativity - children create their own ideas about their experiences so offer activities and props that recreate real life

Choose toys that add value and learning to the child's experience - toys that can be used in multiple ways, can be combined with other toys, can be used alone or with a group, and are good for boys and girls and by more than one age level

Avoid toys that mimic TV shows - it restricts a child from using his/her own imagination

Avoid toys that "play for the child" instead of letting the child be in charge of the play and outcome.

These are just a few tips to consider when guiding your child to a healthy, happy, and fun childhood. Even though our children will indeed be expert "techies" with the access they have to electronic products..good ole active, physical play is still the least expensive and easiest way to help your kids develop into successful adults.