Becoming an Effective Step Parent

Today's family portrait is just as likely to display a blended family as a nuclear family. However, with over 75% of adults with children remarrying and 60% of those marriages ending in divorce, mostly because of the children, indicates that something is desperately wrong. Perhaps The Brady Bunch gave us a false impression of a blended family.

Blended families today vary widely but what is most common between them is difficulty blending. To be an effective step parent involves a lot of hard work, time, prayer and to be frank, disappointments. The following are a few good tips for starting off down the right path:

1. Just because you are now married does not mean your new spouse should be given automatic rights to discipline your children. Most often, this is the start of family turmoil. The children should only be disciplined by their biological parent. The non-biological parent should serve as support to their spouse. Private conversations between the husband and wife regarding house rules and discipline should occur and agreed upon very early on. They should be shared and followed through with all of the children so they know what to expect, which diminishes feelings of resentment.

2. Spend time with your own children separately. This is especially important in the beginning. It will bring much needed comfort and security to your children. They need to know that they are still a priority in your life. It is very important that separate time with your children is carefully balanced so they don't become confused about the union of their new family. As for family time, be sure to regularly plan outings and family time together, which fosters the blending process. Make sure these times are used for enjoying one another and bonding, instead of reprimanding for last weeks misbehavior.

3. Do not compete with the parental role of the same sex biological parent. The child needs to know that their step-parent is an addition to their life, not a replacement of their same sex biological parent. Encourage their love and loyalty to the absent biological parent.

4. Lower your expectations. Even after many years, in contrast to nuclear families, most blended families lack family cohesiveness.

Coach Kids to Manage Sibling Conflict

To witness the love that your children can show to each other can be a joy. While hearing your children bicker and fight with each other can be as unnerving as nails on a chalkboard. Some parents get that sibling conflict is natural, while others worry about whether something is wrong with their child for fighting with their sibling. Your child may bicker about tangible items, such as food, electronics, and toys. Or, kids may worry about not having enough love, attention, power, and space. Kids sure don't make parenting easy!

The good news is kids have great potential to learn how to manage their emotional and social world better. I don't think parents are the cause of sibling conflict, yet I have witnessed how a parent's response can increase or decrease the intensity of the conflict. Like any child problem or behavior, parents have a few options:


1) leave it alone,

2) enforce consequence, or

3) coach them. What behaviors would you leave alone? When would you intervene and enforce a consequence? Most parents don't want to solve all of their children's arguments, yet they want them to be safe.

When sibling rivalry is safe, yet they aren't making progress on their own, try coaching them. Here are some ideas on coaching your children to manage their own sibling conflict:

Notice cooperation: Share what you notice. "It looks like you two are having fun together." Or, it looks like you two have solved your problem without my help."

Ask before helping: Restrain the urge to scold and/or fix your children's bickering. Then, ask "is this something you guys can solve on your own or do you need my help?" If they ask for help, guide them through the problem solving steps: 1) identify the problem, 2) identify possible solutions, and 3) pick a solution everyone can live with. (Depending on your child's age and intellectual development, try to let your kids do most of the talking and brainstorming.)

Encourage teamwork, not competition: In getting kids to do what a parent wants, a parent may try to use competition to motivate a child to comply or move faster. Instead, encourage your kids to be a team, and get the job done together.

Teach uniqueness: Kids typically want to be better, smarter, faster, and/or stronger than their sibling/peers. Teach them that everyone has strengths and weaknesses (or things they do good and bad). "Differences don't mean that one is better or worse, just different."

You aren't responsible for your kids' relationship with each other, but you can model social and emotional regulation through coaching. Think of yourself as the guide. This will take more time initially, but will pay off in the long run.

Establishing a Routine to Get Your Child to Study

At times, it may seem like homework and studies are the last thing on our child's mind. Unfortunately, this can reflect on their grades and overall performance in school.

Your child may end up confused and frustrated when it comes to staying on top of things with assignments, project deadlines, and exams. But by teaching them the right organizational skills, being a successful student would be a walk in the park.

Get your child in the habit of composing to do lists. Have them use this checklist to keep track of assignments, household chores, and reminders about what materials to bring to class.

Have your child keep a small pad or notebook especially for listing down these tasks. Once they accomplish one task, have them cross it off from the list. Seeing a completed to do list will instill a strong sense of accomplishment in your child. It will also help him prioritize assignments and household chores over less important things.

Don't forget that a stable routine is also imperative to your child's success in school. Have your child study in the same place everyday. This place should be a quiet location in your home, where there would be very little distractions to your child while he is doing homework. Also, make sure that all your child's study materials and supplies are accessible in that area.

You must also establish a routine when it comes to bedtime and television watching. Children who sleep at a regular time on a daily basis are more keen on performing better in school.

Before you have your child settle into bed, have him prepare his things for the next day. This includes his books and homework. You must also have him prepare the clothes he'll be wearing the next day. This lessens the amount of time dedicated to getting ready in the morning. Doing so will not only give you more time, it will also ensure that your child doesn't leaving anything important for school.

Lastly, encourage your child to sort through his school bag and books on a weekly basis. This way they won't fall victim to the paper clutter monster.

Children - The Best Gift

Children are the best gift parents can have during their lifetime. As parents, you start thinking, planning and worrying about your child even when he/she is in the womb. That is the love of parents, a strong bond between the children and their mom and dad. Your association with your child starts in the mother's womb, when you go for that first scan to the doctor and see blurry images of the unborn fetus.

Your baby comes into this world, crying and kicking and protesting with all his/her might. You feel a protective feeling and would do anything to protect your newborn. Right after the birth of your baby, those sleepless nights and weary days make you think whether this was a right decision! A single toothless smile from your baby removes all your doubts and worries.

The important milestones in your child's life are treasured moments for you, stored in pictures or video clips. Your baby's first smile, first attempt to crawl or walk are so precious for you, you obviously wish to store them and share them with your loved ones. You train and teach your toddlers and kids and guide them through life.

But teaching isn't a one-way affair. Many a times, your children come to you with questions which make you check things. Having a child in the house is an education for the adults too, as you often learn new things, facts and it becomes a constant process of new discoveries. It is important to handle children well, because a wrong approach towards child rearing can make a big difference in your child's character and personality.

Children are very important for a family. A family unit is incomplete until there is a child in the house. Children complete the family; they bring fun, laughter and spontaneity to our daily lives. Life without children is dull and lacking. Those who cannot have children know this perfectly well. The law has made it possible for childless couples to adopt kids and live a fulfilling life.

You learn to unwind, relax and engage in silly childish activities, thanks to your children. Playing with kids is fun, whether it is a pillow fight, a ball game or a puzzle. Children bind families together and make the bond strong. You develop a social circle thanks to your children. Your kid's friends and their families become your friends, and there is help available when you're in a crisis.

5 Top Tips For Your Crying Toddler That Work

Is your crying toddler keeping you up during night and day? We know that children cry, whether it's because they are not getting their way, they feel tired, they are hungry or when they want attention. One way or another they use crying as a way to communicate their feelings. But what if your toddler seems to cry at just about anything? Even when they have played with their favorite toy or eaten their favorite food, they are just not happy and content. Does this sound familiar? The following are five top tips for your crying toddler and how you can try to stop their irritating behavior.

1. Do you always seem to run towards your toddler when they cry? If you have fed, changed diapers, offered toys and given all that your toddler needs then why the crying? It is most likely they want your attention and it is time you draw the lines. You need to stop giving your toddler attention every minute they start screaming.



2. If your child is in no danger or pain, the crying is usually to get their own way. A crying toddler is a healthy toddler and knows they can twist your arm. Yes, at such an early age they realize your weak points. Let them sit in their cots or a safe place and continue to cry. After a while the crying should stop.


3. Remove your crying toddler from his audience. Children from an early age like to get attention and what better way to do this then cry in front of people? Parents usually give in to their child's crying after feeling embarrassed and people just looking at you. Again don't give in. Take your child to somewhere quiet and explain to them that their behavior is unacceptable. Take time outs and let your toddler know that you are in charge from a very young age.


4. Don't give in to your toddlers every demand. Their behavior will eventually deteriorate for the worse.


5. Easier said than done, but try to remain calm when under pressure. Toddlers can sense whether you are stressed out or not. If your child has a legitimate reason to cry, sit down and comfort them and explain that you are there and there's nothing to worry about. Praise your child for good behavior such as eating and drinking. It shows them that you are giving positive attention to this specific behavior. When they misbehave try to remain calm and do not over react.

Nurturing Your Child's Self Esteem

You must know that a child's self-esteem is their mental foundation. In general, children who are self-assured often end up as confident, secure, happy, well-adjusted and successful people. They have a distinct outlook on life that enables them to deal with problems that come their way. Of course, this all begins with a parent's loving and nurturing care.

You may ask yourselves, what are some good ways to help build the self esteem of my child? Well, first of all, accept them for who they are and teach them to do the same with the people around them. Make them aware that nobody is perfect and that making mistakes is part of human nature.

Help them see the silver lining of experiencing the pitfalls in life by helping them learn and grow from those experiences. Children with high self esteem are able to learn the lessons from their mistakes and are able to apply them in their future undertakings. Help your child bring out their natural talents and abilities. Also, encourage outlets for these talents so that they may build and improve on them. You must always praise children for their unique abilities but never forget either to praise them for their innate abilities.

It is also crucial that you train them to make positive choices, early on in life. Keep the lines of communication open and discuss with your children the infinite possibilities that awaits them. It is said that children who are trained to make positive choices at a young age, are more likely to handle the tougher choices in life better, once they get older.

Most importantly, make sure you spend quality time with your children. At least once a week, take them out or stay in with them, just make sure that you take the time to talk and catch up on each other's lives. Career-oriented parents may find this difficult, but simple things such as chatting during car rides or doing house chores together will do wonders. You may not realize it, but little things truly go a long way

Choosing a Pediatrician For Your Child - 7 Tips to Find the Best One

Recently, I was in pursuit of a reputable pediatrician for my preemie (who came home last week, yay!). When you start to think about who will take care of your child (medically), it is easy to become overwhelmed by the decision. For all mothers (especially preemie moms), the fear of illness and "what to do" can plague your mind. This is what I learned about the process:

#1: Find a Pediatrician Who is Close to Your Home.

My friend gave birth a month after me. She decided to go with a pediatrician that lives a good 40 minutes (with no traffic) away. Why? Because it is located in posh Newport Beach. She doesn't live in Newport. She doesn't drive a Beamer or Benz, yet somehow taking her kid to the doctor in Newport Beach makes her feel like she fits in with that crowd. Maybe I'm just too practical. Who wants to drag their teeny tiny baby out that far for their one-month appointment? Who wants to sit in traffic to see your doctor when your kid is sick? Being practical is key here.

#2: Make Sure Your Philosophies Mesh

You definitely do not want to be head-butting your doctor over parenting style. My son's pediatrician is 200% supportive of breastfeeding, and when I mentioned I was cloth diapering, he was totally supportive. They didn't push anything down our throats and were very considerate of us and our preferences, while maintaining their role of professionalism and experts in their field. This is important.

#3: Consider Size of Practice

I took my stepson to a pediatrician husband and wife team. They were nice and all, but there was just the two of them. This meant that they had limited availability, and we had to wait weeks just to get a TB test that was needed ASAP for school. My son's pediatrician (the ones I love) have six doctors in their practice. Six doctors = more availability. You want to be able to get appointments easily and not have to wait weeks or months. Also, you want a practice that is well-managed. You don't want to be stuck in a waiting room for hours with lots of other patients. You want to be able to go and be seen relatively quickly.

#4: Find Out Their Hours

I've been to a pediatrician with limited hours. It sucks. The group I found for my son is open Monday-Saturday, and are always on call for after hour care. This is great and puts my mind to rest, as I don't have to go to the germ-infested ER with my baby if something happens in the middle of the night.

#5: Go to Your First Meeting/Appointment Loaded with Questions

Write them down. Write down everything you can think of, and when you meet your doctor, ask away. Look and listen to how they answer you. Are they rushed? Are they patient? I fell in love with my son's pediatrician when he answered every single question with patience and knowledge. He acted like he had all the time in the world for us. I've had doctors who treat you like a piece of metal on an assembly line. Having a doctor who makes time for you is what you want.

#6: Waiting Rooms

It is essential (in my humble opinion) for a doctor to have a "sick" room and a "well child" room. I'm not going to expose my baby to bacteria and viruses just because I'm waiting for a well-child check-up.

#7: Professionalism

Are the secretaries efficient and respectful? Do you get a copy of the doctor notes? Are you treated as an intelligent being? These are all important!

So, I hope these tips have helped you navigate your way through the journey of finding the perfect pediatrician for your baby and/or older children. This is one decision not to take lightly!

Launching Your Young, Adult Child

Steve finished college, found a job, but really didn't have the money to handle all of the living alone costs of a single adult... and have a social life at the same time, so he moved home with his folks.

Jim and Kathy love retirement. Jim was 1 year into retirement, Kathy 6 months, when their daughter Susan's husband left her and their two young children. Susan had not been working while the children were young and her child support could not begin to cover housing and child care expenses. The 3 of them moved in with Jim and Kathy.

Tom struggles with depression so it was no surprise to him that his 23 year old son, Josh also has the same issues. Josh's sadness and depression make it hard for him to hold on to a job. The harder it is to hold on to a job, the more depressed he becomes. Tom wonders if Josh will ever be on his own.

Now, more than any other time in our history, young adults are finding it harder to leave home and many, because of the economy or other issues, are finding a need to return to their parents' home. This can be stressful for everyone.




Young Adults: Leave Home Without A Boomerang

A 2009 survey by the Pew Research Center reported that 13% of parents with adult children said that one of their adult sons or daughters had moved back home in the past year.

Another study reported that 40% of 2008 grads were still living at home with their parents and 42% of 2006 grads were also still living at home.



Reasons Young Adults Remain With Their Parents

The main reason that young adults have trouble moving out on their own is the high cost of housing and other life expenses.

The Bureau of Labor Statistics reported in October, 2009 that 15.6% of 20-to-24-year-olds were unemployed vs. 8.7% for people over 25. College debt also takes a toll, so it makes sense to move back home where life is comfortable, rent is low or none at all and cooking and laundry are often provided.

Others, like Sara, return for personal reasons, to recover from a divorce or an illness, or just because they would like a different lifestyle.

Effects of Young Adult Children Living With Their Parents

We know that when a young adult moves back home, there is often more tension in the family. Parents find it hard not to interfere in their child's life and the young adult, still somewhat dependent on his parents, may have trouble acting in mature and responsible ways. (Or at least not live up to what parent think are mature and responsible ways.)

There are financial burdens for the parents as well. Their desire to retire or travel may be derailed because of the burden of caring for children and grandchildren financially.

Tom has had to pay for Josh's college loans since he has had such a tough time finding a well-paying job and sticking with it. That money is now not going to Tom's IRA which means that he cannot retire in 10 years when he turns 66. This is the time when Tom should really be working hard to put money away for his retirement.

For Jim and Kathy, it was even worse. In order to help Susan out, they had to borrow money to cover the expenses of her divorce and caring for her and the children.

So, are you facing this problem? Do you wonder what you can do to nurture your adult children along to leave the nest? Do you want to find ways to support her and not push her out too soon, and yet, you also would like to be able to see an end to this dilemma? We have some suggestions for you.

Suggestions For Helping Your Young Adult "Take Flight"

Do not see returning home as the first best option.

Sometimes your adult child may just need help finding a cheaper place to live, a better idea of budgeting or even a short-term loan.

Do not sacrifice your own financial future.


Continue to care for yourself financially. You do not want to trickle down the financial burden to your children so that they have to take care of you in your old age. Your children most likely have many years to save for their retirement. You are approaching the end of your time.

Teach your young adult about finances.

You may be willing to help them out of debt, but don't just bail them out. Find a way to teach them how to avoid debt, handle credit cards and live within a budget. If your relationship is tense, find a financial adviser or send them to a class to learn these skills.

If your adult child needs to borrow money, make sure that he understands that it is a loan. Work out a repayment plan, either through money or increased responsibilities, that is realistic and one that you will follow through.

Set clear expectations about the living arrangements.


Discuss household responsibilities, overnight arrangements with dates, what needs there are for sharing plans about when each of you will be home for meals, trips, etc.

Charge your young adult rent.

Rent can be a good thing, even if you decide to put it in a savings account for when your adult child leaves home.

Set a time limit with your young adult.

Discuss how long these living arrangements will continue. It is good to begin with an idea that this arrangement will not last forever. You can choose to change the time limit in the future if that needs to happen. Beginning with a date or time for a move out, lessens the impact of changing it if the return home seems to take too long.

Stick to your guns.


It doesn't help if you back down on your word. Your goal is to help your young adult become self-sufficient. Honor your promises and hold her to her promises. In the end, everyone will feel better about the arrangement.

Want help with your situation? We have experience helping other parents and their young adults navigate this territory. Contact us and let's talk about how we might help you.

Developing Good Manners in Your Children

Teaching a child about respect and dignity can be a tricky situation for parents. The only way to make these values stick with them is by setting a good example. A child's formative years are when he starts learning about the world and the importance of human relationships.

Parents play a very crucial role when it comes to teaching children the value of healthy relationships. This social competence allows them to express their feeling better, treat others with empathy, and to be cooperative and generous overall.

To accomplish this task as a parent, you must model the behavior you want them to exemplify. Every time you have the courtesy to use the word "please," or whenever you decide to help out those in need, you are showing your children appropriate ways to act.

It is always helpful to your child's growth and understanding of responsibility to have them help out with daily tasks. If they offer to do so on their own, thank them for it. Praising your child's good behavior helps them appreciate how good it really feels to be able to help others.

Socially competent children are known for exemplifying a strong sense of self worth and importance. It follows that when a child has high self-esteem, he is more inclined to treat others in a more positive manner.

Encourage generosity through simple acts of sharing and cooperation. Remind your child when it is someone else's turn with a toy or on a swing, and praise their ability to recognize this on their own. Don't forget to thank them for recognizing the importance of giving way to others.

Children know that words can be quite powerful as name-calling and teasing can significantly affect people. Children always want to be treated fairly, the problem is, they don't always know how to treat others the same way. When it comes to teaching your child about the value of fairness, it would be a good start to explain a rule to him. Make your child aware that this rule doesn't just apply to him, but to everyone else, for that matter.

Raising Children Without Facing Conflicts

Raising children in order to have the happiness of being near them, instead of facing conflicts because of their existence, seems to be a very difficult challenge today. Our problematic historical time and our depressed civilization are not indications that we live in a place where a family can live happily; on the contrary. It breeds an environment of conflict and strife.

Divorces and major conflicts of all sorts are basically characteristics of the generational differences within families as they try to live out their lives together. There are only a few families living happily on Earth today, and we don't know how long they will stay that happy.

Even happy families will experience an unexpected problem that can dramatically change the happy scenario of their lives at some point. Once the problems such as divorce, or the children start showing aggressive behavior set in, we lose the admiration and respect we once had for these families and feel sorry for them.

Other times the couple is united yet their children imitate the bad behavior of their friends when they become teens. Then we observe the formation of many conflicts that gradually destroy the happy atmosphere existent in this family when the children were still small.

We blame the parents when their children exhibit problematic behavior, but sometimes this is not their fault. Everyone inherits the basic characteristics of their personality from birth. If a child has a strange personality, he or she will constantly generate many conflicts within the family, without any apparent reason.

On the other hand, since you are a young parent without any previous experience, you could make many mistakes during the process of raising your children. How can you avoid all these problems?

As an intelligent parent you care about learning everything that the scientific method of dream interpretation reveals to us. You will find the solutions you need by analyzing and interpreting the content of the human psyche. The unconscious mind that produces our dreams is the best doctor and counselor we could ever find.

Dream interpretation according to the scientific method, is a simple translation from images into words. Learn how to translate your dreams so that you maintain a happy marriage.

You'll also be able to help your children prevent all mental illnesses thanks to the unconscious wisdom. You will, in turn, teach them how to unravel the workings of their own unconscious so that they can flourish as the well adjusted and happy children that they were meant to be.

This is the only guarantee you can have that your children will bring you happiness in life. The scientific method of dream interpretation will transform them into balanced human beings who will love and respect their parents, and who will certainly be self-confident and mature adults in the future.

Child's Play - Tips For Adding Physical Play to Academic Lessons to Help Toddlers Increase Memory

It has been proven that physical activity increases memory and stimulates development. By adding a physical element to your basic toddler lessons, you will make it a fun activity and you will find your little one will be eager to learn. They will also be developing motor skills at the same time so it is a win/win situation. Here are some simple, playful ways to teach your toddler the basics of color recognition, counting and the alphabet.

1. Colors and counting. For this game, you will need a basket or bin and about 20 primary colored bean bags or sponge balls. For young toddlers, have them pick up a bean bag and run to the basket and drop it inside while you count. For older toddlers, have them try to throw them into the basket.
   When all of the bean bags are in the basket, have your child help you sort them into colors. Repeat the colors as you pull the bean bags out of the basket. Place them in color groups and then count out how many of each color you have.
   Your little one will love this game and will repeat it over and over again. You will be surprised at how quickly he begins to recognize the colors and gains the counting skills.



2. 
   Alphabet. If you have a swing set in your yard, or at the park, have your toddler get on the swing and every time you push them recite a letter of the alphabet. Forward is A, back is B, etc.


3. 
   Colors. A good old fashioned Twister mat is a great tool for teaching colors. Young children may not be able to do the actual game of Twister, but you can have them hop from colored circle to colored circle and they will love it.

As you can see, there are many, many ways to include physical activity with academic learning. By teaching your children to be physically active you are reinforcing the importance of physical activity in their daily activities. Get creative. You know the activities that spark your little one's interests the most so incorporate them with academics and you will find you do not spend much time with "sit down" activities. Your child burns energy which means he sleeps better at night and gains the motor skills along with his academic skills.

Different Ways to Bond With Your Kids

Most parents are so used to having their children play out in the yard or streets so often that when rainy days come along, they come to see it as a dilemma. No one wants having their kids cooped up in the home, staring at the TV all day. But sometimes, this kind of thing can be made fun and productive.

Make a movie marathon for your children a planned event. Go to the video store and let each child pick out a movie. Before everything else, set down the ground rules.

The kids can pick out the movies that they want if they promise to watch what others pick out as well. On your way back, pick up some snacks for the event.

Once you get home, set the mood. Get the kids to do what they have to do to make them as comfortable as they can be.

Your role, as the adult, is to man the food stand. Serving popcorn during movie marathons is a must, but don't forget to serve healthy and filling food such as sandwiches and veggie sticks too. This is a definite plus because you know these types of food won't leave a mess.

Children that sit in front of TV sets for long periods of time tend to develop pent up energy. This is why it may be helpful to take breaks in between movies.

You can play games or do simple exercises together. Just make sure to keep things fun for them.

As soon as the rain stops, you can let the kids play outside again. The good thing about movie marathons though is that you'll notice how they won't beg for as much TV time as before. Good for you and certainly good for the kids!

Tips For Parents on Homework Management

Helping with homework is one of the daily tasks that some parents find difficult to do. With the right attitude and a few strategies, guiding children in doing their homework will seem less daunting.

When you both have sat down to do the homework, start first by reviewing all the assignments for the day. Break them down per task and ask the child how long he can finish each. It is recommended that the difficult task be tackled first so that when the child's energy is waning towards the end, he won't find it too difficult to finish the easier tasks.

Make homework sessions short but more frequent. An example would be to have a set homework schedule for only thirty minutes but do it daily. Children have short attention spans and forcing them to sit down and work on their homework more than necessary will be counterproductive.

Your role in your child's homework is to provide assistance and guidance. Teach them how to arrive at the answers or help your child in brainstorming for solutions. Don't give in to the temptation of doing their homework or giving them the answers outright. This will indirectly teach your child that it is all right to cheat and that they can give up easily since you will be there to solve the problem for them. For children who really want to learn, it will also make them feel that they are not good enough since they were not able to complete the assignment on their own.

Children learn from your actions. So make sure to set an example even with homework. Do your "homework" at the same time they're doing theirs. When they have a reading homework, read a book. You can also fill out your planner for the next day's schedule or balance your checkbook.

Setting Up an Incentive Or Reward System For Homework

In an ideal world, every child would do his homework and do it well every day because he likes doing it. While there are some children who certainly have this attitude, not every schoolchild would want to do homework for the stated reason above.

If getting good grades or having the satisfaction of completing a daily task are not enough motivation, parents can think up of creative ways to motivate their children in doing their homework. While it is rare that an incentive system will work right after implementation, careful thought and consideration should be given in setting up one.

With the right incentives, parents can avoid having power struggles with children over homework. They can also use it to remind children about what's in store for them if they start fidgeting midway through an assignment.

Incentives need not be expensive or elaborate. In fact, they should be the simple things that children find pleasure in doing. Examples are favorite activities such as watching TV, playing a video game, or hanging out with friends. Other kids would also be motivated by a favorite treat such as cookies or pizza.

For a more long term approach, and especially with older children, a points system could be more effective. Certain behaviors can earn him points, not doing things as expected can shave off those points. This way, parents can add and mix up the incentives mentioned earlier with bigger rewards such as a chance to skip a household chore for the week, attending a sports game, going to the beach or the park, or going somewhere nice during the weekend.

Of course there is one incentive that does not need points and should be given freely: one cannot never underestimate how motivating are words of praise for children.

As a last word, incentives should not be confused with bribes. Bribery is when a parent gives something to the child just so he will do the homework. Reward is when a treat becomes available when the homework is done well.

Kids' Personalities and Socialization

Have you ever been on the receiving end of a first impression from someone who really didn't know you? Sometimes this can work to your advantage, which is why we create a professional appearance for a job interview. Sometimes it is not to your advantage.

In a perfect world this would not happen at all, and would definitely not happen with children, but we don't live in a perfect world. Elementary school teachers often show favoritism, even when they try not to. It may be hard for children to watch another child being favored.

My three daughters all have very distinct personalities. My youngest will talk the leg off a table, explaining anything and everything. The oldest is very shy and reserved, but works the hardest in her studies. My middle daughter is somewhere in between, and talks a lot during class.

If your child is complaining about other kids being favored, don't panic or react right away.

Instead, talk to your child and ask them why they feel this way. Is it something they noticed in class?

Maybe they overheard other children talking - did they actually see the behavior themselves? Children should understand that everyone has different personalities and some will always be more outgoing than others. This doesn't make those people better or more popular, they may just be noticed more.

A child and teacher laughing doesn't have to imply a favorite. Calling on the same students during class can be innocent. Perhaps the teacher doesn't want to embarrass students who don't know the answer and is calling on those who raise their hand first.

Does your child feel left out, perhaps? Talk to them about what they can do about this. Encourage them to join in on the laughter when appropriate and to raise their hand when the teacher asks a question. Often with a little effort, they'll be known as the teacher's pet as well.

How to Keep Children Safe Near Pools

Summer spent around ponds, lakes, pools and beaches is more fun because it gives you a chance to cool down and relax. But, you should keep in mind that these places are potentially hazardous, especially for small kids. Nearly 1,000 children die annually from drowning according to expert estimations. This typically happens in home and private swimming pools. To have an enjoyable summer and keep children safe, here are a few things to keep in mind.

Make sure to always provide supervision for children. Accidents can happen when a child is left alone for just a few seconds so keep this in mind. If your child goes swimming, stay alert. Do not rely on others to keep a watch over them.

Life vests and inflatable devices can be used to help protect your kids. Although they will not replace your personal supervision, they can help increase your reaction time if something were to happen. Consider them an additional security layer.

Take swimming lessons with your child. Provide them with qualified teachers. Do not assume this instruction will keep accidents from happening. Again, your child's swimming activity should always happen with proper supervision.

A fence of at least four feet should be installed around the pool. This fence should separate other play areas of the yard and the house from the pool. Install self-latching and self-closing gates. Your child must not be able to reach the latches of these barriers.

Alarms and door looks should also be used. Doing so will effectively keep your kid from leaving the house and getting into the pool area. A properly installed pool alarm can be a lifesaver since it will tell you if someone gets into your pool. For the best selection of in and above ground pools at amazing prices, visit http://nationwidepools.com/.