Getting Your Kids Out of Their Shell

As human beings, we sometimes form judgments based on appearance without getting to know someone. On job interviews, for example, it is very important to dress appropriately and make a good first impression.

This can happen in schools as well. Teachers try hard not to play favorites, and probably try even harder not to show it when they do have favorites, but they are human beings too. If your child is not the favorite and the teacher clearly has a favorite, this can be hard for your child.

My three daughters could not be more different. The oldest one is very shy and quiet and has always worked very hard in school. My middle child is very social and friendly and often is in the principal's office for talking. My littlest one never seems to stop talking.

If your child is not the teacher's favorite and often talks about those who are, this is alright. It's a natural phenomenon for kids to feel this way so don't be surprised to see this happen.

Talk to your child about why they feel the other child is the teacher's favorite. Maybe they noticed something in class that made them feel overlooked. Maybe they're simply assuming the worst, as it's in our nature as humans to do this sometimes. Whatever it is, talking the matter through is the best way to arrive at a formidable resolution to it all.

On the other hand, it is possible that they heard rumors from other children, which may or may not have merit. Just explain to your child that all people have different personalities, and some will mesh well with each other. Others may not, but they can still get along. There may be other years where your child is loved by the teacher, and some years where they simply don't get each other. Experience will show this over time, but in the earlier years of schooling it may not be as apparent.

Explain to your child that just because a child is telling the teacher a joke, that doesn't mean they are the favorite. It is possible that the other child is just very outgoing and the teacher would listen to any child's joke. Maybe the teacher calls on the same student frequently. This doesn't guarantee a favorite - sometimes teachers call on the child most likely to help the discussion.

If your child feels left out, encourage him or her to join in - chances are they'll be more than welcome!