Should I Give My Child Choices?

As parents, we have a set of expectations and goals in mind for our children. The problem many parents face is determining how to communicate those expectations to their children. It is easier for us and our children if we explain those behavior expectations in clear words that cannot be misconstrued to mean something else. Remember, when you are explaining your expectations to your child, it should be on a level they understand.

Sometimes, we attempt a diplomatic approach, and we will tell our kids "okay, you have this many choices." Whoa! How confusing is that? Instead of giving them a list of choices, when we already know what we would like them to do, why not give them the top two? This method can save you time and frustration as your child ponders all of their options. Your child may need a little incentive to make a quick decision. Counting down from ten is a great way to get them to decide between the two options.

Parents often resort to asking a child to do something they already know they want done. For example, you want your child to pick up their toys. If you ask them to pick up their toys, their response may be a flat out no, or they may say they will do it later. When you phrase your directions into questions, you are leaving the option open for the child to say no. Save yourself the time and frustration, and tell the child, they need to pick up their toys. It is important you use please and thank-you while you are directing the child. This teaches them to do the same when they want things.

Do you want to learn exactly how to eliminate your child's out-of-control and defiant behavior without using Punishments, Time-Outs, Behavioral Plans, or Rewards?