Disciplining Your Kids

There is no shortage on books filled with so-called expert advice on how to discipline your kids. But, for how do you know which methods are best for your kids? Well, with all due respect to these experts, I would argue that the person who knows your children best is you.

It is great to consider the advice found in books and articles, but at the end of the day you should identify what will work with your individual child. Each family is different, and each child within the family is different and has unique needs.

Take time outs, for example. This may work well on one child, but not at all well on another child. I have a friend whose child defies all of the rules she places on him. When he started biting, she asked me what she should do. I told her every method I know of, but as she tried each one, each one failed on her child. What she hadn't done was take the time to understand her own child and what might work best for him.

It's important to discipline children. Children must learn that there are rules, and that rules must be followed. This will help them throughout life. They may not take to it well at first, but instilling values like these will ensure well grounded kids who grow into responsible and mature adults, able to handle any issues and adversity that life throws their way. This usually leads to people who work hard, have thick skin, and aren't afraid to tackle a challenge whenever it presents itself.

Discipline should not, however, be harmful to the child under any circumstances. Harmful discipline will not teach a child the necessary rules about appropriate consequences. This will only hurt their feelings, creating fear anytime similar issues arise for the rest of your life. Therefore, it's important to be gentle and careful in your approach, despite the fact that you want to be firm.

Discipline should also be appropriate for the act committed. For example, if your child uses a marker all over your walls, have them clean up the mess. This will teach them the true consequence of the specific act committed. Smaller children may need more time, or even assistance with the clean up, but be sure they understand that this is not a game.

Understanding your unique child will help you to identify the disciplinary techniques that will best help them to grow into responsible adults.