Suggestions For Parenting Children with Aggression - The Nature of Discipline and Child Aggression

Parenting children of aggression and learning how to bring a positive influence in order to change a persons' behavior are both huge challenges. Even when an aggressive child wants to change. If it is in the nature of the child to be more aggressive, (which is not automatically a bad thing) it poses a high level of difficulty. Think about how hard it is for you to change some of your bad habits.

In the beginning it is often recommended that you take baby steps. Creating small goals and then moving forward from there. Smaller goals are easier to achieve and will build confidence. Like anything in life that is worth it, it will take some hard work and you will need to invest a fair amount of time. Rome was not built in a day. The important thing to keep in mind is; Rome was built.

The Importance of Positive Encouragement

Praise is much more motivating than punishment. When people hear the word discipline the first thing that tends to come to mind is being punished. This is mainly because in the past that was how most people dealt with aggressive kids. Even when children misbehaved out of simple misunderstood learning experiences. The motto back when we were growing up was; punish them first then figure out what happened.

If your parenting children of aggression then the nature of discipline will need a more in-depth understanding as well as a more definitive look. Discipline comes from the word disciple. This word defines as the ability to guide or give guidance. This is a much better understanding than that of punishment, which was how we learned about discipline.

Today we are smarter and we understand that to get better results, as well as building a real relationship, we need to use constructive methods. This is an improvement. One that was not made overnight. Similarly, the way we are able to change our behavior will work with changing the aggressive behavior of our children. Though these goals will take some time, they are more than worth it.

Just like when you are learning something new, you begin by taking small steps and keeping small goals. By keeping goals small and easily attainable you increase your child's success and your opportunities to give praise. The power of praise is many cases truly amazing. Often even unbelievable. The same goes for the results it brings. Your child lives for your approval and attention. You should take any opportunity you can to offer your child positive feedback.

One suggestion is to focus some of your praise unevenly. Surprise your child by giving praise even when they fail. Their efforts should count for something and when you do this right your child will bend over backwards to impress you. If you show your children unconditional acceptance and demonstrate confidence in their abilities, their self esteem will skyrocket. They will ultimately channel their aggressive energies towards accomplishing positive goals.

All children can learn to change. Though some will take longer than others your positive encouragement will mean more to them than you could ever imagine. Once children see that they are able to change through your guidance in accomplishing smaller goals, they will have more confidence to carry on. Parenting children of aggression will eventually pay off big time in the long run.

Turning Off the Television

When I was growing up, there was no such thing as television during dinner time. In fact, something such as eating dinner with my family while having a television on would have been an absurd suggestion. Instead, we would always eat dinner as a family while sitting at our dining room table between the hours of 5:30 p.m. And 6:30 p.m. While my family was one of many that did this back in the 1980s and 1990s, there are many families today who barely even know what a dining room table is!

It is a sad fact that now, as soon as the food is prepared, family members or even spouses take their plates and run as if they are magnetically drawn towards the televisions in their household. And with this comes the realization that perhaps there is a breakdown in the family structure that has occurred and is only getting worse as time goes on. You see, years ago, it was common to have only one member or parent of a household who would go to work full time while the other stayed home with the children. In many households, the parent that often stayed home happened to be the mother. However, as time went on, we began to see a radical shift in this way of living. I remember that by the time my younger brother and I were in high school, my mother had switched from staying at home with us to working full time in an effort to bring a little more income into the household. Still, all the way through high school, up until I went away to college, dinner was a family event.

Dinner was a time where my dad would get home from a long day at the office, my brother and I would get home from school and we could all sit down as a family and talk about how our days went. Often, the conversation would focus on my brother and I and how school was as well as what exciting things were going on with any extracurricular activities that we were involved in at the time. My mother and father would also chat about whatever it was that adults talked about back then. Then, afterward, either my brother or I would have dish washing duty or other miscellaneous chores to do before we could relax and do whatever it was we wanted. In essence, there was a certain kind of structure that was in place.

Now, with many households that have both parents working full time while the children are still young, there is no one to really be there for their son or daughter when they get home from school. Dinner has been elasticized to include any form of eating that takes place within your home sometime in the evening either with or without your parent(s) being present. I can remember that some of my friends would actually ask to come over to my house because they liked having a home-made meal at a dinner table versus eating fast food or going out to eat all the time. Today, it really makes me wonder what this lack of structure will do to children who are growing up in terms of the eating habits that they will develop. I guess that only time will tell.

What Can I Do to Teach Good Behaviors to My 4 Year Old?

Four year old children are at an age where they are really starting to spread their wings. A typical four year is learning how to use their imagination and may get a little confused at times between reality and fiction. They are normally very active and willing to try anything that pops into their heads. Parents may feel strained after trying to keep their child safe, especially if the child will not listen to the parents' directions.

In most situations, rules are devised to help keep the child safe. A four year old child has a fairly short memory still and may forget the rules on a day to day basis. This leads to the parent becoming frustrated because they feel like they are constantly repeating themselves. Although you might be doing just that, step back and look at the situation. Remember, your child is not trying to get you angry or frustrated. They are still too young to practice the art of thinking before acting.

Instead of telling the child, they cannot do a certain activity, have you tried telling them what they can do? This kind of direction helps eliminate the grey area in your rules. When they do violate one of your rules, what is your response? Are you angry, frustrated, or exasperated?

The child will read these emotions on your face and may not fully hear what you are trying to say. Instead, try remaining calm, use gestures or physically show the child what you are saying. Once you have explained to them, in words they understand, have them repeat if back to you. It is important the rules are consistently enforced.

Do you want to learn exactly how to eliminate your child's out-of-control and defiant behavior without using Punishments, Time-Outs, Behavioral Plans, or Rewards?

My Teenager Does Not Listen to Me Unless I Yell

For many parents, yelling feels like the only way they can communicate with their teenagers. While it is true that it can feel like this at times, yelling is generally not an effective means of communication. Think for a moment about when someone is yelling at you. Are you really respecting and listening to what they are saying? Typically when someone is being yelled at, they are thinking of their own argument back or are just getting increasingly angry themselves which makes for even a less productive process. It is usually true that when people are yelling that they are acting out of strong emotions and therefore do not make their points or arguments as clearly or effectively as they would if they were not yelling. In addition, if you are always yelling at your teenager, they will likely learn this behavior / communication style and bring it with them to future relationships.

The challenge for parents is in how to communicate calmly and be heard when it feels like your teenager will never listen. Below are some suggestions for how to remain calm when interacting with your teenager.

1. Take a deep breath. While this may sound ineffective, it is proven to calm people down. Taking in a deep breath allows people to pause and think in addition to physiologically calming the body down.

2. Think about what you want to say ahead of time. If you are preparing to talk with your teen about a difficult subject or you are preparing to address a problem with them, prepare for it as you would any other difficult meeting. Think about the points you really want to make so that it is as effective of a conversation as it can be.

3. Take a break if needed. If things become escalated or you notice you start to yell it is okay to take a break. It is perfectly acceptable to say to your teen, "this conversation is really important to me and I don't want to yell so let's take a 10 minute break and come back to it". Then go get a glass of water, take some deep breaths, get some fresh air and return to the conversation when you feel calmer.

4. Give yourself a break. There will be times when you lose your cool - it is inevitable because it is a human reaction to become emotional or to get upset at times. If this happens, notice it and then try to calm yourself so that you no longer feel the need to yell.

5. Get outside support. If you notice that you are yelling more often than not at your teen as well as at others in your life or you notice that you are often feeling very stressed out or angry, you may want to get some professional support to help you feel better. Often times, seeking professional counseling or coaching can help individuals feel calmer and have happier, more fulfilling relationships in their lives.

Great Advice is Always the Hardest to Follow - Parenting Children With Behavioral Emotional Disorder

The single greatest piece of advice that was given to me was the old popular phrase "Things are never what they seem." However this next great piece of advice, the one that is "so hard to follow," is related to that in many ways and is covered by the very same principle. The advice I am concerned with here is: Do not take it all so personally. Especially when parenting children with behavioral emotional-disorders, or even just parenting in general. You benefit beyond belief if you follow through with this one.

Regardless of the benefits, it is simply one of the hardest things to do as a parent. It really does help us to become better parents though. As well as better people overall. It is also one of those things that never gets any easier. Well, it does get easier once you begin to reap the rewards but it still requires a constant effort on your part.

I struggle with those many instances in life where you are not supposed to take things personal. It took a while and was not easy but if I can change; Then you can definitely change too. The thing about parenting that makes it so hard is that it means so much to you. And it should its supposed to. It is a good thing but also it can be a bad thing too.

The principle that you should not take things personal when your children misbehave is also shared by doctors and many other professionals. The best surgeon in the world would not, Should Not operate on his own son or daughter. There is too much emotional involvement. The more it means the harder it is to not take things personal.

This is not easy. Try to see that things from an objective point of view. This is all about your child. Try to step outside of yourself. Seeing yourself as if you were someone else can help. You need to understand that the times you think that your child is misbehaving on purpose just to spite you, it is simply not the case.

Things are never what they seem. Especially when it comes to a determination about about whether or not your child has a behavioral-emotional disorder. This is becoming more and more common and has nothing to do with intelligence. In fact, A higher intellect tends to be related to certain psychological and emotional sensitivities.

If you could step outside of yourself things will be a lot more clear. Remember that almost every single parent goes through that moment when they hear those dreadful words "I hate you," from their very own loving child. No matter how you slice it, even though they do not mean it, it still hurts.

Parenting children with emotional-behavioral disorders is a very unique challenge. These diagnosis are still pretty new given the scope of the history of psychology and human nature. The fact is you may have been diagnosed with behavioral emotional disorder yourself when you were growing up had the academic pillars and psychological communities gotten that far back then.

The one thing that needs to be stressed is that when your child is making mistakes and behavioral issues are popping up, the problem is all about them. They are not deliberately trying to make trouble for you. No, not at all. Many parents make the classic mistake of thinking (and acting) as well as believing that their child's mistakes will reflect badly on them.

Children with emotional behavioral disorders have extra intense feelings that are very hard to control. As children who are just starting out in life they have not yet formulated an understanding of how to filter and control their emotions in a positive manner. They will end up going through a lot in life and are going to need some seriously strong parents.

If your parenting children with emotional behavioral disorders then you are going to need very thick skin. As well as a lot of patience and understanding. As the title suggests, it is not going to be easy. But the best quality in regards to parenting children of this nature is being able to look past the personal attacks and trying to see what is going on underneath.

Home Matters - A Teaching Method That Affects How Children Learn

I was raised in a family of fourteen people in a home with only one bathroom. Needless to say, scheduling bath time in my home was more than a simple task. When I was seven years old I learned the only way to get sufficient bath time was to awaken before my siblings. My mother gave me an old wind-up clock so I could wake-up early.

The first morning I used the alarm I woke at five-thirty, traipsed downstairs as quietly as possible, and took my bath. While I bathed I heard Dad stirring in my parents bedroom which was adjacent to the bathroom. After I completed my bath I started back up stairs when I heard a buzzing in the basement.

I snuck to the basement landing and looked around the corner of the stairs. My mother was bent over our dryer pulling clothes out and setting them on a table. She was singing. Without turning around she said, "What are you doing?"

"I heard buzzing," I replied. "What are you doing?"


"Washing clothes," she replied.

"This early?"

"Four days a week," she replied.

Mom explained that she woke at four o'clock every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday to wash clothes. She explained it was necessary to keep us in clean clothes.

"Dad's up too," I said.


"I know. He does paperwork while I do laundry. It's the only time the house is quiet enough to concentrate."

"Why were you singing?" I asked.

"I might as well enjoy my work as not."

Mom still used an old wringer washer, but she was absolutely thrilled that she and Dad had scraped enough pennies together to get a clothes dryer. She wouldn't have to hang clothes outside during winter anymore.

That dryer wasn't vented to the outside like dryers today. It was vented to the front of the dryer, and the lint trap had to be cleaned every load.

"Can I help?" I asked.


"Sure."

Mom started another load in the dryer and placed a large towel on the basement floor in front of the dryer. "Why don't you lay down and catch a nap until we're ready for another load."

The air from the dryer was warm and comfortable. I slept until the dryer buzzed. I was thrilled when Mom taught me to clean the lint trap and to place the dry clothes on a folding table. She made me feel useful. I remember how she complemented me on a job well done. (Although I remember dropping most of the clothes before I got them on the table.)

When my older sisters woke at six o'clock they took their baths and then helped Mom carry the folded clothes upstairs. (That was a ritual that I hadn't noticed until that morning.)

The next morning I set the alarm at four o'clock. I hurried through my bath and rushed to the basement to help Mom. Mom placed a towel on the floor. I slept until the dryer buzzed, then cleaned the lint filter, and stacked clothes on the table. I slept between loads while Mom sang, folded clothes, and washed another load. That was a routine we kept every wash day for several years.

I look back on those days with fond memories. My parents taught my siblings and I that work wasn't a hardship. Sometimes when I'm working I'll catch myself singing a song I learned in that old basement and smile.

How did my parents teach their children? They taught by example.

Copyright 2010 J-me

How Should Parents Talk to Their Children?

Some parents may be a little confused on how they should be talking with their children. Do you talk to them the same way you talk to other adults? Should you use baby talk? Children learn their vocabularies from their parents. It is your job to teach them how to communicate, verbally and non-verbally.

Young children under the age of five, typically have a limited vocabulary. When you are giving them directions, it is important to use words they know. Using big words will only lead to confusion and frustration. It is helpful if the parent uses hand gestures or physically demonstrates an action to the child. Speak slowly and use a tone that is conversational. Yelling will immediately cause the child to go on the defensive and your message will most likely not be heard.

When you are talking to your child, make eye contact. This actually helps you to read their expressions. Look at their facial expressions to see if they look confused, angry, happy or frustrated. The child may not know how to tell you that what you said to them frustrates them. Their reaction may be to throw a tantrum instead of trying to find the words needed to express their emotions.

It is also important to use your voice in a way that expresses what you really want to happen. Fluctuate your voice tone to emphasize key words in your sentences. This tells the listener that this particular word is important, and they should pay attention. Use pauses to allow the child to process what you just told them before you continue. Children will pick up on these techniques and be able to use them in future conversations.

Do you want to learn exactly how to eliminate your child's out-of-control and defiant behavior without using Punishments, Time-Outs, Behavioral Plans, or Rewards?

5 Red Flags to Look Out For in Teens

Being the parent of a teenager can be a very difficult task. Teenagers are known for their lack of respect of authority, unruliness, mood swings and the list goes on. Parents never know how involved they should be in their children's life in this complex time. Teenagers think they know it all and want to start tackling life on their own, while parents want to protect their children from potential grief and dangers; it's a very complicated time in any parent's life. There are tell tale signs that something is definitely wrong with your teenager that you should look out for, and here are some of them:

- Changes in Performance at School: Any sudden or drastic change in your teen's school work should raise alarm bells. A drop in performance could be a sign of drug or alcohol abuse, or it could be an indication of depression.

- Avoiding School: If your teen seems to be frequently coming up with excuses to avoid going to school, something isn't right. Try to establish communication with your child's teachers and compare notes on any behavioral changes you may have noticed. Your child may be the victim of school bullying or worse, don't ignore the situation hoping it will fix itself.

- Dropping Out of Activities: Hobbies and extracurricular activities are a vital part of developing social skills in teens, and if your child suddenly stops participating in hobbies and activities they used to enjoy, this could be a sign something is drastically wrong.

- Changes in Sleep Patterns: Sleep is crucial for everyone, especially teens because sleep allows the body and mind to recuperate and rejuvenate. If your teenager's sleep patterns are erratic or seem abnormal, it's time to rule out potential drug abuse problems or psychological disorders such as depression.

- Sudden Changes in Peer Group: "Birds of a feather flock together" rings true. If your teenager has had high-achieving friends at school and then suddenly starts avoiding them and begins hanging out with less savory individuals, this could mean he's doing things his old friends didn't approve of and is usually a sign of trouble.

Coping with teenagers and doing the right thing can be very frustrating at times, but if you remain alert and watch out for signs of potential problems and always try to maintain open lines of communication with your child, you should be able to get through this trying time successfully.

Avoiding the Chaos Surrounding Your Child's First Day of School

There is no doubt that a child dreads that first day of school, whether it's their first time going or just the next year for them. For some parents, it may seem like a blessing - you get some time back after all - but deep inside you feel the chaos that is about to occur.

Rushing around in the morning, trying to get your children off to school, barely awake yet - it's the same for nearly every household. Mistakes are bound to happen. To help you sort things out and make that first day of school easier, here are a few tips to consider.

First off, you should always pack your child's backpack the day before. Ensure you have all of your child's school supplies: pencils, crayons, markers, scissors, etc. If you think you might forget something, make a checklist first, then check it off as you pack.

Leave the backpack full of supplies right beside the door you'll go out of tomorrow morning. This will ensure you'll remember to grab them.

Another great idea is to pack your child's lunch the night before, just make sure you don't leave it out. Put it in the fridge to maintain its freshness, and prevent mice from invading your home.

If you're worried about forgetting your child's lunch, just put a simple note on his or her backpack. You're bound to remember this way.

Lastly, remember that kids are kids, and sometimes you're going to have trouble getting them up in the morning. To save time and frustration, allow your child to pick out the clothes he or she will wear the night before school. This will prevent fussing, and you will be able to get your children off to school quick and easy.

My Child Will Not Go to Bed When I Ask Him To

Getting your child to bed at a time that you have designated can be a difficult task that parents often dread. The bedtime struggle is nothing new and nearly all parents deal with it at some point. It does not have to be so bad. Parents can implement a few strategies that are designed to get the child into bed when you tell them to.

Instead of asking the child to go to bed, the child needs to be told it is time for bed. Before the child is told to go to bed, they should be forewarned. Giving a ten minute warning will help transition the child into the bedtime mode. Let the child know that once their show is over, it is time for bed.

Once the bedtime hour rolls around, the child should be directed to go to bed. It is not always quite that simple in the beginning, but it gets better with a little practice. If the child wants to read a story before bed, that is great. However, limit it to one or two books that do not take more than fifteen minutes to read. It is also a good idea to have the child use the bathroom and get a small drink before crawling into bed. This will help eliminate the "I'm thirsty" excuses that are common bedtime avoidance techniques.

When the child does get out of bed, calmly walk them back to their bed. In some cases, they may need to be carried. You do not need to say anything during these trips, simply place them back in their bed. Do not give in to any of their begging or bargaining methods.

Do you want to learn exactly how to eliminate your child's out-of-control and defiant behavior without using Punishments, Time-Outs, Behavioral Plans, or Rewards?

Teaching Your Kids How to Write Legibly

It is not nice when you see that your child's handwriting is not legible, especially if is because they have rushed to finish it. We tend to use handwriting more than we think during the course of our day, so it is imperative that it can be read. There is nothing worse than a teacher not being able to read your child's handwriting properly, and because of this he down grades their marks at school.

We get taught two different types of writing throughout our school lives. There is print writing, and then there is cursive writing as we get older.

It is irrelevant which type of writing your child is doing at the time if the writing is unreadable. We should really try to find out what is causing the handwriting to be so bad in the first place. We can only try to cure this problem if we really understand where the fault lies. Are they having trouble with certain letters or is there something else causing this?

If there is a problem with the writing of certain letters, why not put aside about 15 minutes per day after school to help your child to practice writing these letters out in a notebook? You could make this a little like homework for them; try to instil some pride in their writing.

Maybe the problem is in the way that they are holding their pen or pencil? It may be causing them to feel uncomfortable when they write; this in turn could make them rush their writing. Make sure that the pen is gripped with the forefinger and thumb, and with the middle finger supporting the pen.

Teach them to write the letters of the alphabet correctly. You can find some notebooks that have these letters on the cover to show them the correct way that they should be written.

It is never too early or too late to teach your kids to write properly. Their success not only at school, but also in later life, could depend on them being able to write clearly and neatly.

Is it Too Late to Change My Parenting Style?

If you are hoping to change some habits and bad behaviors your child has developed over the first few years of their lives, you are in luck. There is a way to modify your parenting methods that can lead to good behaviors. These techniques may not produce overnight results, but it is possible to see some change in just a matter of weeks.

The first step in changing your child's behavior begins with you. Yes, the parent is directly responsible for leading their child. This is not to say you have done a poor job up to this point, but there is always room for improvement. If you are serious about changing your child's bad behavior patterns you must model the good behavior you are asking for.

Along with being the role model, your job is to teach your child the good behaviors you want. Using an approach that redirects the child away from undesirable behaviors is very effective. When you see your child acting in a way you do not approve, calmly let them know. Do not ask them to stop, tell them to stop. Give the directions in a manner the child will understand. If the same behavior presents again, follow the same steps, but never lose your cool.

Stay consistent with your rule enforcement as well as the consequences to breaking those rules. It is normal for the child to completely rebel in the beginning, but stick with it. Your child will see you are serious about this and will begin to follow the rules and behaviors you have discussed. If you are in a co-parenting home, make sure both of you are sticking to the same rules.

Do you want to learn exactly how to eliminate your child's out-of-control and defiant behavior without using Punishments, Time-Outs, Behavioral Plans, or Rewards?

The Hoax of the Three Bears

If It Wasn't A Children's Classic... It Would Classify as an Urban Legend! You know the story, don't you? Papa Bear, Mama Bear, Baby Bear... Too hot, too cold, just right... too big, too small, just right... too hard, too soft, just right. You know the one I'm talking about?

Well, it's a hoax. Look closely at the three illustrations in the story - the porridge, the chair and the bed. What is common to all three? The author wants us to believe that there's a 'Just Right'.

Ha, ha, ha! From my experience, I'm here to tell you that it just ain't so, especially when it comes to child discipline.

Spare the Rod. Come On, You Know the Rest.

I'm old school when it comes to disciplining my girls. However, being a step-dad in 2010 I realize that corporal punishment (eg. takin' 'em out to the woodshed) simply isn't an option any more, as tempting as that may be sometimes. Today, every kid knows their 'rights'. Children's Aid, and my impending incarceration, is only a phone call away.

Now that I think about it, it's hard for me to accept how a full grown adult could possibly have the heart to physically whale on a little kid, no matter how provoked, even though I survived the era where 'spare the rod...' was the rule of the day. Nowadays, I find that a firm grasp by the two shoulders along with a stern stare into the tiny terror's eyes, accompanied by a good shake or two usually gets my desired effect in very short order.

Barking, snapping and snarling also seems to get things moving when the little cherubs bog down, as they often do. My girls can easily go off into their own little fantasy world, especially when they have a schedule to follow or need to be someplace by a certain time. Keeping calm and composed while repeating the same instructions over and over, day after day is really out of my realm of possibility. I find it far more expedient to SHOUT IT OUT!

While the girls do move faster and seem to 'respect' me a bit more than they do their mom, these results come at a cost. The tense atmosphere created by all that shaking and barking takes its toll on the overall harmony of the home. The negative impact on everyone's well-being is HUGE! In the long run, bitterness and resentment can only build.

Yes, I'm the Papa Bear. You well may deem my methods to be TOO MUCH!

You Can Catch More Flies With Honey. True enough. But who wants more flies?

Maggie's approach to child discipline is quite different than mine. Oh, sure you'll hear her barking too from time to time. Our girls are no different than any other kids... they can really push your buttons hard. As much as I like to think that Maggie is my angel sent from above, the girls help to prove that she's only human.

Maggie's and my discipline styles differ like night and day:

• Where she's the carrot, I'm the stick.



• Where she rivets on rewards, I plan and provide punishment.


• Where she goes after the good in each girl, I expect to catch them doing something wrong.

Maggie tends to see everything as a teaching opportunity. With her counseling courses behind her, she skillfully crafts questions to get the girls to think and act more responsibly.

Talk is cheap though. Our girls are still normal kids, which means that they can tune in and out anytime. In fact, they tend to get a little too lax under Maggie's regime. Happy, unafraid and carefree doesn't always translate into focused, self-disciplined and responsible.

As you already know, Mama Bear's methods could be construed as TOO LITTLE!

Don't Mess With Mr. In Between. I Can't Believe I'm Quoting this Ancient Song!

OK, now you know how old I am when I start referencing songs from 1944 (Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive). Nonetheless, that song is chock full of wisdom. It's absolutely true, you don't want to mess with Mr. In Between. Here's what I mean.

In our attempt to find that elusive, mythical 'Just Right', Maggie and I have tried just about everything in the book. First, because we saw merits in each other's approach, we endeavored to become more like each other. But you know what happens when you do that? You become less like yourself.

Another time we sampled being on the same page; I would bark, and Maggie would back me up with more barking of her own. Oh, the girls moved alright, but the stress and strain became unbearable.

Alternatively, I would join Maggie in discussion (OK, lecture) mode. We'd talk in what we considered to be calm and rational while the kids dreamily tuned us out. The house was not only relaxed and peaceful... it was comatose. Nothing got done!

There's No Such Thing As Just Right. Apologies to Kelloggs Cereals!

Ultimately, we concluded that there was no 'Just Right'. People and circumstances change constantly. What worked yesterday may be totally inappropriate or altogether ineffective today. The analogy of a missile being off course 95% percent of the time is very similar to guiding our own lives.

So sometimes - but not all the time - it's OK to shake and bark. Too much here and you'll embitter the child.

Other times - but not all the time - it's OK to discuss rationally. Too much here and you'll spoil the child.

Without one to balance the other, it's almost assured that you'll be hopelessly lost, reminiscent of Goldilocks, who upon seeing the three bears, screamed 'Help!' and ran into the forest, never to return again.

These days I'm still me - I bark and I shake, albeit more sparingly in carefully selected spots. It's often referred to in parenting articles as, 'Picking Your Battles'. Kids adapt very quickly and they can eventually desensitize themselves to even the most negative surroundings.

And Maggie is still Maggie. The difference now is that she is more vigilant to see that the girls are actually listening and hearing what she says.

It's the constant course correction that keeps our family together and on target. Being ourselves; staying on track; what can be better than that? You gotta Love That Feeling!

ADHD Parenting - 5 Great Ideas to Help Your ADHD Child in the Homework Battle

What is the greatest challenge in ADHD parenting? Very probably, it is the homework battle and all sorts of problems can arise if there is not a strategy or homework plan in place in your home. Here are five ideas that parents and friends of mine have tried and they seem to help.

1. We need to set a timetable but we can make it easier by doing the following. We give plenty of warnings that homework is going to start so this prepares the child for the activity which is always at a set time during the day, in a quiet place away from distractions. This applies to other areas of ADHD parenting where routines and structures are all known well ahead of time.

2. Be there! We should sit with the child and see that he gets it done without nagging. That means giving the child full attention and support and it does not mean that we can check our emails while we are doing this.

3. I know parents who cannot be there so they get high school kids they know to help their child with homework and of course sit with them while they do that. If this works, you can gradually reduce the number of helper days. I know some parents who found that this was really beneficial and meant that they could all enjoy themselves as a family once they had got homework out of the way.

4. Another challenge in ADHD parenting is actually getting your kid to keep still while doing homework as fidgeting and restlessness are all part of ADHD. One way round this is to get a stability ball or exercise ball and let him sit on that while doing homework. Research actually shows that while kids are moving in some way they can focus and concentrate better.

5. Building breaks in and small rewards of healthy snacks is also a great way to keep things moving. This fits in nicely with rewards and consequences which can be a great help in ADHD parenting.

The other great challenge in ADHD parenting is trying out different medication options. You may have tried psychostimulants and might be worried about side effects such as loss of appetite and sleeplessness which is certainly going to have a knock on effect on homework. Maybe you should have a look at ADHD homeopathic remedies. They have no side effects and there are no health risks either. There is a lot of helpful information on my website below.

Counseling and Psychotherapy For Parents - Prevent Teen Depression and Aggressive Behavior

The scientific method of dream interpretation proves to the world that there is a wiser brain, far superior than our under-developed human brain that produces our dreams and sends us wise messages in the symbolic form of dream images.

By following the guidance of the wise unconscious mind in your own dreams, you can solve all your problems, overcome all mental illnesses, find your physical health, and yet, help other people find their health and happiness like you.

You can mainly help your children prevent all mental illnesses before they become depressed teens or before they show aggressive behavior, resting assured that they will be able to keep their mental health for life. This means that they will become happy teens and adults, and you won't have to bear the conflicts common to most families.

Most people ignore how all mental illnesses are provoked, even though the scientific method of dream interpretation has already proved to the world that all mental illnesses are originated in the anti-conscience, the wild side of the human conscience that lives in a primitive condition, without any evolution. The anti-conscience is not a fossil, but a very active part of our personality, even though we cannot perceive its influence.

It is our primitive self, which keeps trying to destroy the human side of our conscience in order to control our behavior because it wants to be only a violent animal, disrespecting human rules.

Therefore, if we want to live free from all mental illnesses, we have to eliminate the poisonous influence of our wild, violent, and immoral primitive side.

This can be done through dream interpretation because the unconscious messages provide counseling and psychotherapy to our human conscience.

As a conscious parent, you must learn how to translate your dreams, and show to your partner how to do the same so that you both may become balanced parents.

By setting the example you'll be able to give your children the right education and help them understand the unconscious messages.

This is also how they will eliminate the dangerous influence of their anti-conscience without ever passing through mental illnesses, while they are still young.

They will build a strong and self-confident personality besides becoming very intelligent, since their wild side will be tamed and transformed into a positive component of their human conscience.

This means that they will use all their capacities and acquire complete consciousness, becoming sensitive human beings who will behave with serenity, compassion, and wisdom in all occasions.

Using a Closet Organizer to Make the Most of Your Kid's Closet

Its hard to beat a great closet organizer. Why not use them in your kid's closet as well as your own to keep their clothes and other items neat and organized? Actually, kid's closets probably need them more than the adults. And, the best part, a new closet organizer kit is a great way to teach kids how to stay organized.

Finding the right organizer kit for my son's closet took plenty of online research. To begin with, I took everything out of the closet. When sorting through the clothes, look for items that they either outgrew or don't wear anymore. You can take these clothes and hand them down to siblings or anyone else you know that might fit into them. I used this opportunity to teach my son a little lesson on charity. He got to pick through the clothes that he didn't want anymore and we promptly took them to the nearest donation center. Its never too early to teach them to be charitable.

Once everything was cleared out and sorted through, I now had a better idea of the space that was available and took some measurements (this is a really important step). Since this is a child's closet, make sure you consider their height when installing a closet organizer. I dropped the kit down about eighteen inches when I installed it. Your height will depend on the height of your child.

By installing an additional rod down low at a comfortable height for your child will allow them to grab their own clothes. The upper rod will be reached soon enough as your child grows.

Don't worry if the shelves are too high for them to reach. You can put clothes that are out of season on them in plastic containers. For safety reasons, don't put anything too heavy up high as this could fall down on top of them if they do try and get something down by themselves. I place most items on the shelf in plastic containers that are labeled.

Don't be afraid to add a couple more shelves up top since you will probably have the extra room now. I really think that you can't overdo a closet with too many shelves.

Teaching your child how to keep the closet organized, neat and clean is the hard part. You'll need to demonstrate how to fold and hang their own clothes properly. Teach them sooner rather than later so they get used to using their new closet organizer.

Spring Cleaning For Parents

Rake the yard. Clean out the garage. Go through closets. Donate unused items to charitable organizations. Wash windows. You know the drill. It's called SPRING CLEANING.

But what if spring cleaning took on a new twist this year, one that would benefit your children greatly? What if you cleaned the cobwebs out of your mind? What if you wiped away all the limiting beliefs that keep you from becoming the parent you always wanted to be? What if you cleaned up a broken relationship, mended a mental fence, or reminded yourself about the importance of your role in your child's life? This spring might just be the ideal time for cleaning up your responsibility as a parent. Consider the ideas below.

Reawaken your curiosity. Clean out your present expectations and your knowing of why your children do things. Return to wonder. Be fascinated by what they do. Let yourself be awed. Allow your curiosity to bloom this spring.

Eliminate judgment. Judgment keeps you from seeing your children clearly. If you judge a child as lazy, you are less likely to see ambitious behavior. If you judge her as uncaring, you will have difficulty noticing her benevolent acts. Clean the lens in your eyes by reducing the number of judgments through which you perceive your children.

Be out of your mind. Use silent times to wash old and useless thoughts from your mind. Resist the urge to overanalyze parenting issues. Stop thinking and cluttering your mind with incessant chatter. Listen to your heart. Follow your intuition. Pick parenting strategies that have your heart in them.

Appreciate the moment. The best present to give your children is to be fully present when you are with them. Throw out thoughts about the future and the past when you interact with your children. There is only one moment to see, feel, express, learn, grow, or heal with your children. This is it. Pitch the rest.

Clean up your schedule. Every child in the world spells love, T-I-M-E. Adjust your priorities. Pick through your list of social and business activities. Get rid of old obligations and habits that prevent you from investing time with your children.

Apologize and begin again. Spring is the time of new beginnings. Do you need to begin again with one of your children? Do you need to make amends? If so, tell him or her what you learned and what you intend to do differently from now on. Then follow through.

Cut down on talking. Reduce your need to explain, lecture, moralize, rationalize, and convince. The first step towards love is to listen. Give your children the gift of your presence by hearing rather that telling, by acknowledging instead of convincing, by understanding rather that jumping to conclusions.

Rework truth. Cleanse your mind of the notion that there is ONE truth. You know your truth. Allow your children to find theirs. Model for your children how you live your truth. Support them in their efforts to find their own truth and encourage them to trust it.

Fix it up. What parenting concerns need to be fixed in your home? Do you need to fix a relationship, the use of the TV and the internet, or a reoccurring stress? Fix your mind first so you are tuned into fixing problems rather than fixing blame. Maintain a solution-seeking mindset as you fix it up this spring.

Give yourself a perception check. Remember, you can choose to see any parenting situation differently from the way you are presently seeing it. Perception is always a choice. Clean up your mind by asking yourself, "Is this way of seeing this problem the one that brings the most light and love to the situation?" Use springtime to enlighten your parenting perceptions and actions.

A thorough spring cleaning of your parenting style could make your home sparkle. It could be like a fresh coat of paint that brightens the exterior and the interior of yourself and your children. It might work like the cleansing combination of adding energy and love to a bucket of soap and water. Brighter, cleaner, healthier family relationships could well be the result of your spring cleaning this year.

Happy cleaning.