Getting Your Kids to Listen

As parents we often ask ourselves, "Why isn't my child listening to me?" We seem to have the assumption that just because we say something, our child should automatically obey. Wouldn't that be nice? Well it seldom works that way. In fact, it is frequently the total opposite. We sometimes find that when we tell our child to do something, they don't do it. Or, when we ask our child not to do a particular thing, they do it anyway. Why is this? Well this happens for a number of reasons including rebellion, misunderstandings, and sometimes our children are just testing us. Whatever the cause may be, there are ways to increase the chances of our child listening to us.

Talk to your child instead of talking at them. Lectures can sometimes be discouraging. Try talking to your children about what you want them to do. Encourage your child to engage in the conversation by asking questions.

It also helps to be non-judgmental when talking with your child. Judging actually does more harm than good because it causes a feeling of shame, which sometimes leads to rebellion. There is a way to tell your child what is acceptable behavior without judging them.

Try discussing issues with your child before they come up. Talk to your child about listening at a time when everything is calm and there is no issue. Children are more likely to listen and actually remember when issues are discussed while they are in a calm mood. While you and your child are just sitting around or having fun, it would be a nice time to tell them how good it feels when they listen to you. You should also ask them how it feels when people listen to them.

Be a good example. It is important for you to listen to your child when he or she is trying to relay a message to you. This can be a verbal message or one shown through behavior. Tell them what you are getting out of the message. So they will know for sure that you understand and that you were really listening. If you pay attention to your child, they are more likely to listen to you.

Follow through. If you have established consequences and they are clear to your child, it is important to follow through. Children are very smart and they know when they can get away with things. If there is no follow through, it sends the message that they don't have to listen because there won't be a consequence.

In conclusion, we need to remember that each individual child is different. It is important that we know our child so we know what type of technique works for him or her. This is why we have to try to strengthen the bonds with our children. Having a close relationship with your child is very important. Children with distant relationships with their parents are less likely to listen to them. Children need to know that we care and that they are being heard. Once we start listening to our children, they will start listening to us.

If you are having trouble getting kids to listen to your requests there is help available.