How I Got My Toddler to Sleep Through the Night - And How You Can Too

If you are a mom of young children, you have probably read all there is to read about getting your baby or toddler to sleep all the way through the night. You may even be surprised by the fact that the title says "toddler" instead of "baby. After all, there are countless books out there that tell you exactly what to do. I've heard it all "let them cry it out", "start after the first few weeks", "never let them sleep with you", etc. Well, guess what? It just doesn't always work. Suddenly you find yourself waking up several times a night for a 2-3 year old, wondering how it ever happened.

For me, it happened partly because I think the first several months are important for a child to be tended to, and it worked just fine for my other two children (plus my husband has insomnia, and this particular child was so pitchy when she cried that she disturbed not only my family my neighbors as well). Yet, it was time for her to stop waking up so many times a night, and I was determined to finally get her to sleep for long stretch. So, at 10 months old, I decided to tough it out and let her hang on to her stubborn will as long as she wished. She screamed for two hours straight before I went to bed to try and ignore it - but she wasn't done. I peeked in to check on her, as the crib was strategically positioned for me to be able to peek through the crack I had left without her seeing, and she was just plain mad. I went to bed and waited for the screaming to subside.

Now at 2 1/2 hours of screaming, it suddenly the got louder, and seemingly closer, and then further away. Naturally I had to get up and check. She had flipped herself out of her crib to come looking for me! There were no pillows to stand on, she just did a pull up and flipped herself out, then started through the house to find me and give me a piece of her mind. Keep in mind, this 10 month-old little girl had just started walking and was not a large child. She was only in the 10th percentile in for her height and weight, and she still managed to maneuver out of her crib like a skilled monkey. At this point I knew my nights of sleeping without a child were over. It was just plain dangerous and my baby's safety came before convenience.

Some of you may wonder why I didn't let her cry it out sooner. I tried. She made my other kids cry and gave my husband sleepless nights for days. Frankly, she probably would have flipped herself out even sooner than that and really hurt herself. So now being stuck with a stubborn toddler, the only method I found that worked was the "star system".

The star system was so simple, and yet I had to wait until she was old enough to understand it. If she slept through the night, she got a star. When she got 20 stars in a row, she got to pick out the toy of her choice at the toy store. The catch to it was, 20 stars in a row. So, if she only slept 3 nights, and missed the fourth, she had to start over. Every time she got distracted, frustrated, or lost sight of her goal, I took her to the store to see what she was missing. There were many fits and tantrums, but it finally worked. It took 3 whole months but it worked -- and she was proud of herself too.

For all you moms like me, we are all in a place (or have been in a place) where some other parents judge us or simply don't understand. Sometimes you just can't apply the rules, make it work, and still feel good about it. So all you moms should take comfort in knowing that you are not the only one. It is not always lack of discipline or structure, sometimes it's just what life hands you... and it only gets better.