Suggestions For Parenting Children with Aggression - The Nature of Discipline and Child Aggression

Parenting children of aggression and learning how to bring a positive influence in order to change a persons' behavior are both huge challenges. Even when an aggressive child wants to change. If it is in the nature of the child to be more aggressive, (which is not automatically a bad thing) it poses a high level of difficulty. Think about how hard it is for you to change some of your bad habits.

In the beginning it is often recommended that you take baby steps. Creating small goals and then moving forward from there. Smaller goals are easier to achieve and will build confidence. Like anything in life that is worth it, it will take some hard work and you will need to invest a fair amount of time. Rome was not built in a day. The important thing to keep in mind is; Rome was built.

The Importance of Positive Encouragement

Praise is much more motivating than punishment. When people hear the word discipline the first thing that tends to come to mind is being punished. This is mainly because in the past that was how most people dealt with aggressive kids. Even when children misbehaved out of simple misunderstood learning experiences. The motto back when we were growing up was; punish them first then figure out what happened.

If your parenting children of aggression then the nature of discipline will need a more in-depth understanding as well as a more definitive look. Discipline comes from the word disciple. This word defines as the ability to guide or give guidance. This is a much better understanding than that of punishment, which was how we learned about discipline.

Today we are smarter and we understand that to get better results, as well as building a real relationship, we need to use constructive methods. This is an improvement. One that was not made overnight. Similarly, the way we are able to change our behavior will work with changing the aggressive behavior of our children. Though these goals will take some time, they are more than worth it.

Just like when you are learning something new, you begin by taking small steps and keeping small goals. By keeping goals small and easily attainable you increase your child's success and your opportunities to give praise. The power of praise is many cases truly amazing. Often even unbelievable. The same goes for the results it brings. Your child lives for your approval and attention. You should take any opportunity you can to offer your child positive feedback.

One suggestion is to focus some of your praise unevenly. Surprise your child by giving praise even when they fail. Their efforts should count for something and when you do this right your child will bend over backwards to impress you. If you show your children unconditional acceptance and demonstrate confidence in their abilities, their self esteem will skyrocket. They will ultimately channel their aggressive energies towards accomplishing positive goals.

All children can learn to change. Though some will take longer than others your positive encouragement will mean more to them than you could ever imagine. Once children see that they are able to change through your guidance in accomplishing smaller goals, they will have more confidence to carry on. Parenting children of aggression will eventually pay off big time in the long run.

Turning Off the Television

When I was growing up, there was no such thing as television during dinner time. In fact, something such as eating dinner with my family while having a television on would have been an absurd suggestion. Instead, we would always eat dinner as a family while sitting at our dining room table between the hours of 5:30 p.m. And 6:30 p.m. While my family was one of many that did this back in the 1980s and 1990s, there are many families today who barely even know what a dining room table is!

It is a sad fact that now, as soon as the food is prepared, family members or even spouses take their plates and run as if they are magnetically drawn towards the televisions in their household. And with this comes the realization that perhaps there is a breakdown in the family structure that has occurred and is only getting worse as time goes on. You see, years ago, it was common to have only one member or parent of a household who would go to work full time while the other stayed home with the children. In many households, the parent that often stayed home happened to be the mother. However, as time went on, we began to see a radical shift in this way of living. I remember that by the time my younger brother and I were in high school, my mother had switched from staying at home with us to working full time in an effort to bring a little more income into the household. Still, all the way through high school, up until I went away to college, dinner was a family event.

Dinner was a time where my dad would get home from a long day at the office, my brother and I would get home from school and we could all sit down as a family and talk about how our days went. Often, the conversation would focus on my brother and I and how school was as well as what exciting things were going on with any extracurricular activities that we were involved in at the time. My mother and father would also chat about whatever it was that adults talked about back then. Then, afterward, either my brother or I would have dish washing duty or other miscellaneous chores to do before we could relax and do whatever it was we wanted. In essence, there was a certain kind of structure that was in place.

Now, with many households that have both parents working full time while the children are still young, there is no one to really be there for their son or daughter when they get home from school. Dinner has been elasticized to include any form of eating that takes place within your home sometime in the evening either with or without your parent(s) being present. I can remember that some of my friends would actually ask to come over to my house because they liked having a home-made meal at a dinner table versus eating fast food or going out to eat all the time. Today, it really makes me wonder what this lack of structure will do to children who are growing up in terms of the eating habits that they will develop. I guess that only time will tell.